Devotionals
Adding Fuel to the Fire
Sep
Proverbs 26:20-22
(20) Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.
(21) As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.
(22) The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
This passage from Proverbs reminds us of the destructive power of gossip and quarrels. It illustrates that some people, whether knowingly or not, perpetuate strife simply by engaging in or talking about an issue. Interestingly, this isn’t always done maliciously; it can come from family or friends who genuinely care for us. However, even well-meaning conversations can unintentionally add “fuel to the fire.”
It’s important to recognize that confiding in the wrong person can often make matters worse. Even when the intention is good, the outcome might lead to greater frustration or a loss of composure—both of which can exacerbate the problem. As Joey from Friends humorously exclaimed, “This is so big, I gotta tell someone!”—it’s tempting to share burdens impulsively, but wisdom lies in discernment.
A Better Approach: Surrender First
Before sharing your problems with anyone, take them first to Jesus. Not only does He love you more than anyone else, but He is always right and offers a peace that surpasses all understanding. Surrender your burdens fully to Him. When we vent for the sake of releasing emotions, we risk making the situation worse. Instead, like Jacob wrestling with God, bring your struggles to Him privately and earnestly.
There are only three instances where it is wise to share your problems with others:
- When it brings glory to God.
- When the person can pray for you or provide Godly advice.
- When there’s a strong possibility the person can contribute to a solution.
The Dangers of Isolation
While sharing your burdens unwisely can lead to complications, the opposite extreme—complete isolation—can also be dangerous.
Vulnerability
Isolation can make you a prime target for attacks, whether they are spiritual, emotional, or relational. Consider the example of a stray calf, which is much easier for wolves to prey on than an entire herd.
- Genesis 3:1-6: Eve, while not explicitly alone, was in a vulnerable state when the serpent tempted her. This led to humanity’s fall.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “Two are better than one… a cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Fellowship offers protection, encouragement, and strength during difficult times.
Irrationality
Isolation can also lead to irrational thinking. When we distance ourselves, we risk succumbing to fear, despair, or flawed judgment.
- Matthew 4:1-11: Jesus faced intense temptation during His time alone in the wilderness, yet He resisted by relying on Scripture.
- Proverbs 18:1: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”
- 1 Kings 19:1-18: After Elijah’s victory against the prophets of Baal, he fled in fear and isolation, falling into despair. Yet, God met him in that vulnerable state to provide encouragement.
Even in solitude, we are not meant to face our struggles alone. Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Fellowship with trusted individuals helps us maintain clarity, wisdom, and strength.
Final Thoughts
Life’s challenges can feel overwhelming, and it’s natural to want to share them with others. However, wisdom calls for discernment. Share your burdens with Jesus first and foremost, seeking His peace. Then, if appropriate, turn to others who will glorify God, pray for you, or actively contribute to a solution. Avoid the pitfalls of gossip and unnecessary venting, while also steering clear of isolation.
Through it all, remember that Jesus is your ever-present help and refuge, offering peace and guidance in every storm.
